Sharpredpencil’s Weblog

November is flying by!

I’ve barely had time to notice I haven’t updated in awhile. My lapghan is coming along beautifully and I’ve made a ton of progress. I’m nervous about finishing the edges because I don’t completely understand the pattern, but I have a little bit of work to do before I get there. Overall, though, crocheting has become my therapy. It keeps my mind and hands busy and brings up sweet memories.

Life has been consumed with other things lately. I had another miscarriage and now we’re looking into some testing to try to figure out why it keeps happening (third time is *not* the charm). I’ve been overwhelmed and sad and pessimistic and frustrated, all things that bother me endlessly. Bloodwork to test my thyroid came back a tad borderline for subclinical hypothyroidism. Our research shows that there may be a pretty strong correlation between this issue and recurrent pregnancy loss (or, could have nothing to do with it…cue despair). I started medication and we’ll see what happens. In several months, I’ll have a complete blood panel to check for chromosomal and autoimmune disorders. I’m not sure what to hope for with this. I want something to be wrong, but only if it’s something we can easily address. Beggars can’t be choosers, though, can they? (Cue more despair.)

I’m grateful for the support my husband has given me, even though he’s grieving, too. I’m also grateful for my doctor. I had such a hard time with doctors before I found her, and her compassion and expertise has made this whole struggle more bearable. We keep praying something will work out. We also decided to be very open when we feel like it, because we don’t want to pretend this isn’t happening. Pregnancy loss is usually so taboo and it isn’t fair.

But, I want to end this post on a positive note. I’m very much looking forward to Thanksgiving. We’ll miss the huge portion of our family we won’t be with, but will thoroughly enjoy the time we’ll spend with the few we will see. I’m excited to decorate for Christmas. I’m gathering ideas for things that will work with the structure of the house. I’m especially looking forward to buying a new “our first home” ornament for this year.